RILEY AND STAR MY MALTESE KIDS

RILEY AND STAR MY MALTESE KIDS

Monday, April 12, 2010

DEAR STAR, ANSWERS SOME REALLY TOUGH QUESTIONS.


Hi Everybuddy! It's me Star with PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY" MAGAZINE with my weekly Advice Column of DEAR STAR,. And I have been working my tiny little brain to the bone! There were some really tough questions this week!


ANONYMOUS WRITES: Dear Star, My little sister taunts me day and night by snatching my toys, biting my ears and she is wearing me out wanting to play all day long! I admit she's very cute butt she expects me to treat her like she's a little princess! Miss. Star, what can I do to make her calm down! Exhausted in Texas.




Dear Exhausted in Texas, You poor thing! Your story sounds very familiar in fact I think I may know this little Princess personally. So, I am going to write to CIARA right now and tell her to go easy on the Old Farts!


MADI SAYS: Dear Star, I am a glamorous Diva! I live in a Penthouse and I sleep on a king size bed with Satin Sheets! My mom says I am spoiled and now what is she supposed to sleep on? Honestly, I really don't give a Rat's butt! She's just a mom and I am a Diva! What is your opinion Miss. Star? Diva Madi.




Dear Diva Madi, Don't give it a second thought! It's time we all stood up and showed our hoomans what it's like to live like kitties and pups! So let your mom sleep on a hard floor, eat nothing butt dry cat food and water, and go potty in a box full of sand! Why, I hope she gets a rash on her bottom!!! You're a Diva and you deserve to be treated like one!


BUDDY FROM BUFFALO WRITES: Dear Star, I am having trouble keeping a girlfurrend. The last time I tried to kiss a wo-dawg, she got all rolled up in my tongue and I almost swallowed her and had to call 911! Now my pawrents won't allow me to date any more and I am very lonely and sad! Please help!





Dear Buddy, no need to give up on a girlfurrend, just date an elephant! I'd luv to see you swallow one of those! And if you're a good kisser, she'll never forget it!


HERO ASKS: Dear Star, How do I convince my hoomans that even bo-dawgs need to go to the Spa once in awhile and get a message. Also go Cat Chasing and go on holidays and car rides? Neglected in Malaysia.



Dear Neglected, Well, first you roll in some good wet mud. Then you dry out in the hot sun until you're sooo stiff you can't even walk! After that, they will be begging to take you to the Spa and on car rides. Butt as far as the cat chasing thing goes, you're a little young to be going to the "KITTY CAT CLUB" if you know what I mean?


THE-KOOL-KITTY-KREW SAYS: Dear Star, Why is it that our mom calls us everything under the sun except our names??? Confused Kitties.



Dear Confused Kitties, Well, when she does that, do you answer? If so, maybe that's the problem? Now I don't know who's more confused? You, your mom or me???


LILYBELL WRITES: Dear Star, How do I become like you when I get bigger?



Dear Lilybell, Well My Dear, you have your wardrobe down real good so after you wake up from your nappy, all you need is a good Agent and a Mentor. I can give you the name of mine. He has a funny name though, something like Im-a-mess??? I know you would really like him.



COCORUE WRITES: Dear Star, Date Night is coming up soon and I want to invite Chester. I'm sure that one date with me would seal the deal for me! And Miss. Truffles/Fudge-pants would be stale news! Time is running out so what do you think Star?




Dear Cocorue, Well I must say, you are one little persistent cup of HOT COCOA! You are a chick that knows what you want, when you want it and how to get it! I say, you go for it girlfurrend! Any wo-dawg who luvs a bo-dawg like you luv Chester is sure to come out smelling like a Chocolate Sundae with a Cherry on top!

And as for Chester, all I have to say is Chester, you got a HOT one here, so DON'T BE STUPID! Take her to the pawdy!


THREE DOXIES WANT TO KNOW: Dear Star, Since I not allowed to date yet, would it be o.k. to sneak out for Twix's Date Nite? And who will goes with me? Puddles.






Dear Puddles: I think BUDDY FROM BUFFALO (now that was a tongue twister!) would be a fun date for the pawty. Butt, be sure to wear a helmet! And avoid kissing him at all costs!


CIARA WANTS TO KNOW: Dear Star, How can I get the old guy Phantom to play with me? Cute little Ciara,



Dear Cute little Ciara, Now that's easy! Just give the old guy a bottle of Geritol, a pound of prunes and wear a Carman-Electric mask. that ought to get his butt move'n!


MANGO WRITES: Dear Star, Why does the water in my swimming pool only taste good if I drink it whilst totally standing in the water?



Dear Mango, My theory is, in order for you to drink enough water to quench your thirst, you have to drink out of a swimming pool cause they don't sell water bowls that big at Pet Smart! Also, I think the chlorine is starting to give you a buzz!


SALLIE SAYS: Dear Star, My friend Alien started dating a Biker Frog. She's nice and all butt now he doesn't have time to play with me! Any advice?




Dear Sallie, If I were you, I would just be patient for now. Remember, you have to kiss a lot of Frogs before you find your Princess. And who knows? Maybe she'll give him warts!


Well Everybuddy, That's it for this weeks column. Thanks for writing and don't forget, Relationships, Beauty and Fashion are my passion!

Luv you all!
STAR.

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41 Comments:

Blogger Frankie Furter said...

Wow Star, Your advice just gets better and better every week. You had some very much difficult questions this time. Grrrreat job. I love the blue blog thingy you have going here.

April 12, 2010 at 8:29 PM  
Blogger Jazzi said...

Star,
those were some tough questions and yet you did a wonderful job of answering them. Your advice is just great

wags
Jazzi

April 12, 2010 at 8:35 PM  
Blogger Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Woo so have the talent it takes to do this furry well!

Keep up the pawesome job!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

April 12, 2010 at 8:44 PM  
Blogger My Sons Mum said...

Keep it up star, IM sure ill have a question for you after date night. Im excited.
xx major

April 12, 2010 at 9:27 PM  
Blogger 3 doxies said...

Thanks fur da advice Star. But uh, Buddy's tongue is bigger than my whole body. That would be all kinds of scary.
Puddles

April 13, 2010 at 2:48 AM  
Blogger Bella the Westie said...

Wow. You worked really hard, Star.
I think you deserve some yummy treats!
I look forward to reading more of your advice. :)

Love, Bella.

April 13, 2010 at 5:16 AM  
Blogger Madi and Mom said...

Dear Star....Mom says she thinks you should put a disclaimer at the beginning of your column...something like, "if you don't potty before you read my column, I (Star) am not responsible for the outcome".
Mom and I were actually COL (cackling out loud) way better than LOL or MOL.
Thank you for all the EFFORT we know that you put into your column.
Madi and Mom

April 13, 2010 at 5:53 AM  
Blogger Cocorue said...

My Star, YOU ROCK biiiiig time!!!

thanks for the great advice and now Chester is my date for Twix's Date Night. i don't care how/what/why as long as he's my date and Yes, i'm Born shameless, BOL!!!

i have promised him that i will Rub,oops, Not rub it in Fudgepants,er, FudgeCandy's choc face and i must keep my promise ( i'd figure that out later bol...)

i LOVE yours & your mumster's G R E A T sense of humour and i don't know how you managed to be soooo Spot on with ALL your answers ALL the time.

just remember us when you become a Celeb and walk the red carpet.....with a blingey leash and blingey everything!!!

much love & chikisses
coco

April 13, 2010 at 7:34 AM  
Blogger hero said...

Wow, you're a wise one too, Star... those are some great advice. You are so generous with your wisdom... we are so lucky to have you as our agony aunt... err I mean dog.

Licks, hero

April 13, 2010 at 7:36 AM  
Blogger Cocorue said...

ooops, i meant " i LOVE you & your mumster's........"

i just loooove you.....
Coco

April 13, 2010 at 7:36 AM  
Blogger Mango said...

That post sure contained a lot of good information. I agree that my water bowls are just too darn small. In fact, I am going to lobby for an indoor pool.

Slobbers,
Mango

April 13, 2010 at 7:39 AM  
Blogger Dory and the Mama said...

Wow Star..you are the bestest at advice giving!! Here is a question for next time.

My big little siste is ALWAYS hogging the spotlight and only lets me do bloggies one day a week. What can I do to make her give me more bloggie time??

Bilbo
Neglected in Texas

April 13, 2010 at 7:57 AM  
Blogger Samantha said...

Star: you are the mostest at giving superlative advice! My sis, Ozzie, has a question for you. Ozzie here: Mommy promised that I could have space on my sis, Sam's blog at least once and hopefully twice a MONTH - that was a New Year's 2010 resolution from Mom. But... she hasn't come through to help me type up my post ideas. Welll.... what do you think of that? And how can I get my face and story up on this blog? Thanks Star - I know you can help me - meows...
Hugs xoxoxo
Sammie and Oz

April 13, 2010 at 8:13 AM  
Blogger The Army of Four said...

Dear Star,
Do you know how seriously gorgeous you look in blue?!?! How am I supposed to read your advice column when all I want to do is stare at you in blue!!?
Play bows,
Zim

April 13, 2010 at 8:17 AM  
Blogger Remington said...

Another great week, my little princess! You are such a talent! I am off to the gym but plan to be home later. Maybe we can talk then....

April 13, 2010 at 9:02 AM  
Blogger Nadine said...

Thank you for your advice Star! If you could pass on the agent's number, that would be pawtastic!! As far as a mentor, are you for hire??

Chi kisses, Lilibell

April 13, 2010 at 9:17 AM  
Blogger Brind'Amour said...

Whoa! Awesome advice! I think you should have your own column in a magazine!!!

Wiggles,
Brind'Amour

April 13, 2010 at 10:50 AM  
Blogger The Kool~Kittie~Krew said...

Dear Star! Thanx so much for answering our question. Now, we're that we're ALL confused, let's just go take naps!

April 13, 2010 at 11:04 AM  
Blogger Ruby and Penny said...

Hi Star
Bo-Dawgs & Wo-Dawgs, you crack us up?
Love Ruby & Penny

April 13, 2010 at 12:51 PM  
Blogger Tessa the Maltese said...

Such Pawsome advice! I agree with Brind, you should have your own magazine!

Hugs, Tessa

April 13, 2010 at 1:18 PM  
Blogger Sagira said...

Wow, another great week of advice Star!

April 13, 2010 at 2:14 PM  
Blogger Maggie and Mitch said...

Wow! That Buddy has some tongue! You give the best advice, Star!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

April 13, 2010 at 2:42 PM  
Blogger Clive said...

What great advice Star!

best wishes
Clive and the NSLM

April 13, 2010 at 3:43 PM  
Blogger Chester said...

Your wise-ness never ceases to amaze me! As for Coco bein' a HOT ONE that is the problem! I'm not sure if I can control my animal instincts with her but I must for Ms. Truffles sake.

I have not asked her Mumster or Dad about her curfew yet but I sure hope it's not too late because that means it will be all the longer to have to control myself.

Thanks-I think...........
Chester ;0=)

April 13, 2010 at 4:27 PM  
Blogger Sallie said...

Yay! You are the best! I'm coming to you for all my advice. :)

XOXO

April 13, 2010 at 5:07 PM  
Blogger Kari in WeHo said...

so smart you are!

April 13, 2010 at 5:39 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Star!
I always like to come and read your advices... specially the ones for Annonymous!
Haaa!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

April 13, 2010 at 6:06 PM  
Blogger K9friend said...

You are so wise!

April 13, 2010 at 6:51 PM  
Blogger Teddy Bear said...

Star, you are the best!

Love,
Teddy Bear

April 13, 2010 at 9:24 PM  
Blogger MONA AND MOMMY TOO!! said...

Great advise as usual Star.
Also really loved your Oscar coverage. You are just adorable.

Have you seen any bluebonnets around Arlington. We had a wonderful romp in the wildflowers this weekend.

{{{huggies}}}...Mona

April 14, 2010 at 4:12 AM  
Blogger Madi and Mom said...

Dear Star...Madi again...it seems I have an unlimited number of questions for you.
How can I make my mom stop teasing me on her blog? Yesterday she acted like she had ordered me a mouse and quite frankly I was not amused.It appears she finds joy in teasing me. Yesterday was just one incident.
Is there anything you can think of for me to do to end this teasing?
Sincerely
Madi

April 14, 2010 at 6:38 AM  
Blogger Madi and Mom said...

PS actually it is not 'her' blog it is ours...and I think I should have a say so....
Madi

April 14, 2010 at 6:39 AM  
Blogger The OP Pack said...

First of all, we apologize for being late getting here - our human assistant is useless lately. Then Thunder wants you to know that Ciara is now trying to take sled rides using his tail as the reins. Phantom is such an old fart that he won't eat the prunes or swallow the geritol.

Did you think we were your Anonymous? Here we have been thinking all along it was Riley?

And lastly, we love the new blue look!!!

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

April 14, 2010 at 4:10 PM  
Blogger Sierra Rose said...

Nice answers Star!! Wootwoot!

Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
Sierra Rose

April 14, 2010 at 11:54 PM  
Blogger the booker man said...

wow, miss star, those were some hard questions! but you are like totally smart, so you knew just how to answer them.
i have another question for you if that's okies.
when i'm snoozin', i talk in my sleep. i guess i'm kinda loudish cuz my mama and daddy and my big sis asa say it wakes them up big times. what can i do to stop talking while i'm snoozin'?
*woof*
the booker man

April 15, 2010 at 8:31 AM  
Blogger Mochi and Mommy said...

Aww, you two look so cute in blue! :)

Loved the advice you gave to everypup and cat! :) You're pawesome at it!

Mochi

April 15, 2010 at 10:38 AM  
Blogger Ludo van Doggy said...

Another very good column!
ok, I has a question. How can I get my Mum to quit work and spend all her time with me instead?
~ludo

April 15, 2010 at 11:12 AM  
Blogger Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Another great advice column Star. I sure hope you are getting paid for it.. Lots of treats perhaps?

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

April 15, 2010 at 2:22 PM  
Blogger Oskar said...

Wow, I'm still hung up on that huge curly tongue!

April 17, 2010 at 9:04 PM  
Blogger Cocorue said...

dear Star,

i've come to realise that i Chester is only being a good friend and i am Not the kind of dawg to break up a relationship. i don't want to get married and i can't have puppies since mumster did the "unthinkable" and i don't Feel like a wodawg.

i just want a gorgeous companion; someone as nice as Chester but don't want to sound like a slut advertising my bod on the net.

Q: how do i go about getting a BF once i'm home from Twix Date Night? and how do i carry on a relationship when i'm like half way around the world? most dawgs around me are taken or don't care for a "teacup" like me as they don't think i'm a dawg!

awaiting your wise advice, my dear Star
coco

April 18, 2010 at 4:47 AM  
Blogger Twinkietinydog said...

Oh my stars! That was a rather challenging week. You did a grrreat job, Star! Question for you: During date night, Twix mentioned something about me wearing my bikini and going swimming in a toilet. Should I be offended or proud?
Twinkie

April 19, 2010 at 2:52 PM  

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