DEAR STAR WITH PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE.
Hi Everybuddy, It's me Star, from PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE. My oh my! I have received so many questions this week from kitties and pups asking for my advice. So I am going to post one DEAR STAR, column today and another one early next week. I wouldn't want to leave anybuddy out and I just luuuv your questions! So fasten your seat belts cause you are in for a ride!
TESSA FROM OREGON WRITES: Dear Star, I work very hard taking care of my mommy who is disabled. Butt, when she is resting, I get very lonely and I NEED a little puppy to play and snuggle with. My mommy isn't sure she is able to care for two pups but I know that I can take care of both her and a new puppy butt, how do I convince her?
DEAR TESSA: A new pup would be nice butt, what you need is an older dog about four years old who is big and strong and can take care of both you and your mommy and the heavy work around the house. When you are pooped out, he can give your mommy foot massages and then play and snuggle up with you. He will be loyal and a good Watch Dog and he will watch over you and your mommy and keep you both safe forever!
ANONYMOUS WRITES: Dear Star, I luv my pawrents and my little sis but I miss my girlfurrend Tessa sooo much! All I can think about is moving to Oregon to be with her. Butt, her mommy says she is too young to get married. How can I convince her mommy that this would be a good thing?
DEAR ANONYMOUS: Not to worry, I just took care of it! You should be getting a call from Tessa's mommy any minute now. And no need to thank me, it was my PLEASURE!
MYRTLE WRITES: Dear Star, My furrend Gertie and I go to the park every Sunday and sunbathe and try to meet guys. I'm a hot chick butt Gertie is a TON OF LARD and thinks she looks good in a bikini. It's so embarrassing! And not only that, but she refuses to get a bikini wax and just look at her legs! She has no shame! At this rate, I'm never going to meet Mr. Right! How can I tell her to cover up without hurting her feelings?
DEAR MYRTLE: I'm afraid that you are the problem my dear. It's obvious that you are a prude! If you want to meet guys then you need to loosen up and take off your tops or else, you're going to end up with that flaming flamingo!
KISSA-BULL SAYS: Dear Star, Do you think synchronized toots from all of us will make Bella feel better after her heartwormy treatment? We just want her to feel better fast!
DEAR KISSA-BULL: I say get out the gas masks then toot outside! And whatever you do, don't light up a cigarette!
BAILEY FROM: MARTHA AND BAILEY WRITES: Dear Star. Whenever we are out walking, I never get to be in front! Martha always has to be first! I am the oldest and the bravest so I should first!
DEAR BAILEY, Your problem is very simple, just kick her in the bum from behind! Would she rather be first and buttless? I don't think so? So there you go, now you're first!
MANGO THE MALTESE KIDDO WRITES: Dear Star, I haven't had a chance to express my love to a beautiful girl and now I hear she has a boyfriend! And it looks like they are deeply in love! What should I do now, leave them alone or kidnap her? DESPERATE PUP IN TEXAS.
DEAR DESPERATE PUP, What a shame! Looks like she's the one that got away! Butt not to worry, cause you are a handsome little pup and you will have no trouble finding a girl to love you very soon. By the way, have you met Gertie? Just a thought. Things always work out for the best so cheer up and whatever you do, DO NOT KIDNAP HER! Her mommy will be very sad and you will get in trouble with the law!
Well Everybuddy, that's it for today. I really enjoyed answering all your questions and because of you, I luuuv my job!
Please feel free to ask me a question when you leave your comments on my post to DEAR STAR, Editor of PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE.
And remember, Relationships, Beauty and Fashion are my Passion!