RILEY AND STAR MY MALTESE KIDS

RILEY AND STAR MY MALTESE KIDS

Monday, April 5, 2010

DEAR STAR ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS.


Hi Everybuddy! It's me Star from PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE to answer all your questions!


ZIM FROM THE ARMY OF FOUR SAYS: Dear Star, You are a BABE! How do you feel about reddish/blond coyote looking guys?


Dear Zim, Well, reddish/blond furr is SEXY, butt, it's the Coyote part that scares me!


KISSA BULL WRITES: Dear Star, Me and Coco Chanel want to know what ish your advice to land ush a handsum Stud Muffin?


Dear Desperate G-Dawgs, Now let me get this straight. You want to LAND a Stud Muffin right??? Okay? I'm assuming that you're on an airplane at this very moment right??? Sooo, the first thing you need to do is point your snouts downward and begin too pray! And the next time you want a muffin, fly "FIRST CLASS"! Hope that helps and Happy Landing! Gee, I get the weirdest questions!


TESSA SAYS: Dear Star, I want to tie the knot with Riley someday butt you said that your brother likes to rub his butt on the floor! THAT'S DISGUSTING AND REALLY TURNS ME OFF!!! Do you have more then one brother? If not, what to do I do now?


Dear Tessa, Nope! I just have one brother!


TWIX WANTS TO KNOW: Dear Star, I keep seeing the word "ROTE" butt I have no clue what it means! Does that make me a dumb redhead?


Dear Twix, The word "ROTE" means: "RIDING ON THE ELEVATOR". And no Darling, you are not a dumb redhead unless you get on when it says: "OUT OF ORDER"! then if I was you, I'd walk up the stairs.


BRUTUS WRITES: Dear Star, Everybuddy compares me to the "Toothless Dragon" from the new film "HOW TO TRAIN A DRAGON". Confused Snorts, BRUTUS the FRENCHIE.


Dear Brutus, You don't look like the Toothless Dragon at all! Butt he sure looks like you! Or is it the other way around??? Oh, I don't know? Now I'm confused!!! Either way, you both are adorable sooo don't sweat it!



TWINK SAYS: Dear Star, How does one become such a skilled Columnist? Were you born this way or did your environment play a part in it?


ANONYMOUS WRITES: I'll answer that! She was born that way, and she's been telling us what to do, every since she got here!



CHER FROM HOLLYWOOD WRITES: Hey STAW! Rememba me, Cher? Ya probably doint recognize me cause I had more work done and dyed my hair blue. I'm dating a Seventeen year old Stud now so how do I look?


Dear Cher: Umm, I luuuv your hair, it sooo you! Have you put on a little weight? Your butt is showing! Butt then, you never did wear much anyway. Oh, and I don't mean to sound rude butt, what did your Surgeon do to your nose? It looks a lot flatter. Butt, I think you look grrreat, different, but grrreat!


MADI MEOWS: Dear Star, My mom goes to work early every morning and doesn't get home till late. I want her to stay home with me! What can I do you make that happen?


Dear Madi, It's all taken care of. I just called your mommy's boss and pretended I was her. I also said she was having morning sickness cause she's preggers! She should be home in about twenty minutes and for good this time! Now wasn't that smart of me?


THE BOOKER MAN WRITES: Dear Star, How can I convince my mama to let me snooze on the couch? I'm totally missin' out!


Dear Missin' Out, Well obviously, it's a very nice couch so if I was you, while she's not looking, I would have a couple of little oopsies on the couch. After that, it will be all yours!


SCARLETT, VIOLET AND RUBY WRITE: Dear Star, Everybuddy makes fun of us cause we belong to the "RED HAT SOCIETY". They say it's a stupid club and we look like FOOLS! And that Red and Purple don't look good together! This hurts our feelings cause we're just three gals who wanna have fun! Do you think we are crazy?


Dear Fun Loving Gals, Of course not! I think you look very Chic! And if you wanted to be Nuns, you would have joined the Nunnery!



LUDO VAN DOGGIE SAYS: Dear Star, How can I get my mom to take a bigger suitcase the next time she goes out of town? I want to crawl in and go with her!



Dear Ludo, Just take out some of her clothes and jump in! Oh, and be sure to poke some holes in it the suit case and whatever you do, don't bark! Good luck and have a grrreat trip!


Well Furry Frends, that's it until next time. I enjoyed answering all your questions and I hope to hear from you again soon cause remember, Relationships, Beauty and Fashion are my passion!

Luv,
STAR.

Labels:

31 Comments:

Blogger BRUTUS said...

A true fountain of wisdom here! Thanks for answering my question... Or at least making me feel better :)

Snorts-
Brutus the Frenchie

April 5, 2010 at 7:47 PM  
Blogger Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Wow!

I didn't realise that was what our ROTE was!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

April 5, 2010 at 8:05 PM  
Blogger Tessa the Maltese said...

Star, Star, Star, you are a VERY GOOD Columnist, BUT I have to say that I believe that your Fame has gone to your head!

You have gone too far by maligning your brother. Are you just trying to tease your brother or do you really not like me? If it is me, I need to know now!

I love Riley with all my heart, but I will not destroy his family by coming between him and his sister. I think family is sacred.

Therefore I can no longer see Riley. I am so very sorry Riley, I do love you. But Family comes first.

Goodbye my Darling Stud Muffin!

Last Hugs and Kisses, Tessa

April 5, 2010 at 9:19 PM  
Blogger Cocorue said...

mumster is laughing and rolling on the floor and can't breathe bol!!!!

you guys and your smart advice and now Madi would have to work since her mumster's home for good!!!

i've missed you and mumster was knocked out for good for a week! told her your column would help Spring her back to life but that 2legger is dang stubborn!

my Q: Twix's Date Night is coming up and i want to invite Chester as i'm sure that date would seal the deal for me and that Truffles/Fudgepants would be stale news!

Question: How do I ENSURE Chester ACCEPTS my invitation????????

thankQ wise ones
Coco

April 6, 2010 at 2:08 AM  
Blogger Maggie and Mitch said...

We thing purple and red together is one of the best color combos in the whole wide world!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

April 6, 2010 at 2:31 AM  
Blogger Mango said...

So many questions. I will mention that in Mango land ROTE is Running of the Errands (the Mango would never get into one of those rooms that moves without windows).

I have a question; Why does the water in my swimming pool only taste good if I drink it whilst totally standing in the water?

Slobbers,
Mango

April 6, 2010 at 3:51 AM  
Blogger Yoda & Brutus said...

Such wonderful answers as usual Star!

Pugs & Kisses,

Yoda & Brutus

April 6, 2010 at 4:44 AM  
Blogger K9friend said...

Star, your wisdom amazes me! And your fashion sense is incredible, too!

Pat
www.critteralley.blogspot.com

April 6, 2010 at 5:00 AM  
Blogger Madi and Mom said...

Star and her assistant, mom and I are lol so hard we are crying!!! I don't know how you come up with such perfect and hilarious responses but mom says...the answer you left for me is a miracle!!!!Oh my Star(s) you two have found your calling!!!
Thanks for the lol!!!
Madi and Mom

April 6, 2010 at 5:37 AM  
Blogger Frankie Furter said...

Excellent advice again. You are quite talented.

April 6, 2010 at 6:02 AM  
Blogger Nadine said...

Star, I've always admired you....I think you are so very pretty, fashionable and very talented! How do I become like you when I get bigger??

Chi kisses, Lilibell

April 6, 2010 at 7:14 AM  
Blogger Ruby and Penny said...

Star, you are so smart. We love your advice.
Love Ruby & Penny

April 6, 2010 at 8:40 AM  
Blogger The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

Thank you so much for that beautiful comment! the pictures in this post made me laugh! and the picture on your heading is almost too much to look at! so gorgeous! little cotton balls!

April 6, 2010 at 8:55 AM  
Blogger Thor said...

You're very talented Star! I'm sure your advice will help many doggies and kitties and maybe fishes?!
Luv ya,
Thor

April 6, 2010 at 9:02 AM  
Blogger Remington said...

Hey LP, Great job as always! You talent amazes me! I mailed you something and you should get it by the weekend. I await your answer....call me! NHAK (Newfies hugs and kisses) R

April 6, 2010 at 9:44 AM  
Blogger Mochi and Mommy said...

Star! :) Your column cracks me up all the time! I always look forward to reading it!

You look great in red and purple! :)

Mochi

April 6, 2010 at 10:12 AM  
Blogger the booker man said...

oh, miss star, you are the most smartest columnist evarrr! i will be putting your advice into action for sures! :D
*woof*
the booker man

April 6, 2010 at 10:25 AM  
Blogger The OP Pack said...

Hey Star, great column, we really think you took care of business for Madi:)

Ciara wants to know how she can get the old guy Phantom to play with her?

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

April 6, 2010 at 10:26 AM  
Blogger Remington said...

Got your card today! THANK YOU! Very nice!

April 6, 2010 at 1:06 PM  
Blogger 3 doxies said...

Star, I swears when I grows up...I wants to be just likes you.
Q: Since I not allowed to date yet, would it be ok to sneak out for Twix's Date Nite? And who will goes with me?
Puddles

April 6, 2010 at 2:10 PM  
Blogger Teddy Bear said...

Star, you are the best advice giver!

Love,
Teddy Bear

April 6, 2010 at 3:05 PM  
Blogger Kari in WeHo said...

star, you have the best advice!

April 6, 2010 at 3:51 PM  
Blogger Sallie said...

Yay!

Q: Star? What do I do? My friend, Alien, started dating a biker frog. She's nice and all but now Alien doesn't have time to play with me. Any advice?

Thanks!

April 6, 2010 at 5:41 PM  
Blogger The Army of Four said...

Star - You have NOTHING to worry about with me! I only look like a coyote - I'm puppy through and through! I've never met a pup I couldn't win over. Or a cat. Even the neighborhood bunnies like me! What do you say?
Play bows,
Zim

April 6, 2010 at 6:39 PM  
Blogger kissa-bull said...

thanks for the anshwer i thinks we'd rather stay single and fabolous instead of trying to LAND ush a stud muffin
it sounded quite the terrors
pibble sugars and wee wags
the pittie pack

April 6, 2010 at 6:53 PM  
Blogger Bella the Westie said...

Looks like the coyote boys might fancy you, Star!
You are amazing, after all!
Keep up the good work. :)

Love, Bella.

April 7, 2010 at 3:09 AM  
Blogger Sagira said...

Another column of great advice again Star.

I always get compared to a coyote. :(

April 7, 2010 at 6:02 PM  
Blogger Twix said...

Riley, don't you worry, I will find a date for you. I'm a bit confused too....Tessa says Star hates her but I don't know why she thinks that, do you? How about you, Star, do you know why? I have a feeling either Star is sabotaging your relationship OR Tessa really wants to go out with Zim. I'm not sure which but maybe you can put the pressure on those two girls and figure out what is going on.
Snuggles,
Twix

April 7, 2010 at 7:09 PM  
Blogger RILEY AND STAR said...

Dear Furry Furrends, It seems that there is a huge misunderstanding going on about me and my our good furrend, Tessa. And Riley and I are totally confused???

Tessa I luv you very much and I think you may have misunderstood my humor. Butt, that's okay, cause, a lot of peoples do and that's all my Assistants fault!

Mommy says we should love everybuddy and we do!

Riley is hiding under the bed right now cause he doesn't like drama!

Luv,
Star.

April 7, 2010 at 9:06 PM  
Blogger The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

did you know ROTE also means running of the errands over in Mango land! hehehe

April 8, 2010 at 7:41 AM  
Blogger Madi and Mom said...

Hi Star...that is a good question for 'Dear Star', if the kitty sleeps on satin...what do the humans sleep on? I look forward to your very wise answer.....
Sincerely
Sleeping Beauty,
Madi

April 8, 2010 at 9:46 AM  

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