DEAR STAR SAYS: YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS.
Hi Furry Frends, You won't believe some of the letters I have received this week for my Advice Column. Some of them are real doozies! Hope you enjoy this week's edition of DEAR STAR, Editor for PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE.
ANONYMOUS WRITES: Dear Star, Lately I've been thinking about getting married and starting a family. I told mommy about this and she cried and said, who's going to take care of me and daddy when we're old? Your sister has a successful career now and we can't expect her to, cause that would be too selfish of us!
I don't think it's fair! I deserve a life too, ya know? I think my sister should take care of them! After all, if it wasn't for me, she wouldn't be where she is today! This just isn't right! DON'T YOU AGREE WITH ME, MISS. STAR?......"Trapped in Texas"!
Dear Trapped in Texas, NOPE!!!
LORENZA SAYS: Dear Star, Is there any way I can convince my mom that I need baths more often? She says it's too cold but I don't take them outside!
Dear Lorenza, A Girly-girl like you, who never wears the same dress twice, should have at least two bubble baths a day. Also, a Full Body massage, facials and your nails polished to match your dresses! You are a FASHION DIVA and you deserve to be treated like one! I hope your mommy reads this column!
BUCKY FROM BALTIMORE WRITES: Dear Star, I don't know why, butt everybuddy makes fun of my teeth and they say I need braces! I think I look gooood and don't need braces! What do you think?
Dear Bucky, I agree with you. You don't need braces, what you need is a barbed wire fence to fix those choppers! Healthy pink gum's though.
Now this one is going to knock your collar off so hold on to your tails!
COCO WRITES" Dear Star, My 2legger and her 3legger Prince Charming, are reading your column and they are LTAO and ROTF!!! And WETTING THE FLOOR ! I keep slipping and I am getting peed off!
How do I stop them from ROTF? They look so stoooopid!!! Two big hoomans getting all tangled up, crying and laughing on the floor! Are all hoomans meant for the Assylum??? And now my little sista is ROTF and LHAO!!! I hope you can answer this before someone reports them!
Dear Coco, You'll have to excuse me for a minute, cause I'm ROTF and LMAO!!!.....Okay, I'm back. About them wetting the floor, there's not much you can do butt get a mop or make them go outside to wee-wee like they do us! And yes, some hoomans are meant for the Assylum and I know one personally, butt if I mention her name, I won't get this column written! You say your little Sista is imitating them? Now that burns my butt! I hope they do get reported!
I have a question: Where does a 3legger buy pants? Or are they custom made? Where does the zipper go and does he wear three shoes? Do you have any pictures of this 3legger? I don't think I've ever seen one before!
MADI SAYS: Dear Star, When my hooman Sister comes to visit, she brings scents of her kitty with her. This confuses me and I hiss at her cause I think there's another cat in the house butt I can't find her! Then my sister laughs at me and that makes me hiss even more! Star, this really hisses me off! What can I do to stop this?
Dear Madi, I'd spray your sister with Lysol Spray! Then I would wee-wee in her suitcase so when she goes back home, her kitty will hiss at her!
SADDIE FROM SADERMAXX WRITES: Dear Star, My kitten is always jumping on my back and taking a ride. I didn't mind when he was little but now he's getting bigger and taller then me! Got any advice?
Dear Saddie, Yes! Ride on his back! Butt, be sure to strap a saddle on him first cause kitties can climb trees and that would be one heck of a ride!....Whoohoo!
MARVIN - THE HOLLOW HOUND SAID: Dear Star, Today my Jeannie straightened her fringe too much and now her hair is sticking out all over the place! What can I do to keep her from doing this again?
Dear Marvin: Shut off the lectricity! Hoomans never learn!
KERRIE FROM KENTUCKY WHINES: Dear Star, I am dogpressed! I have been a Bridesmaid One Hundred and Seventy Seven times and never a Bride! I just don't understand it? My mommy says I am the most beautiful little doggy in the whole world! So why am I always a Bridesmaid and never a Bride?
Dear Kerrie, Try shaving your mustache!
Well, that's it for this week's addition of Dear Star. So until next time, remember: Love, Beauty and Fashion are my Passion! And if you leave your questions on my posts, I will answer them in my next Dear Star column.
Oh, Pee'sss! Thanks Coco for my reward and Lilybell for tagging us. As soon as mommy is released, she will post them.
Luv and Kisses,
Star and of course, Riley - Mr. Anonymous!