RILEY AND STAR MY MALTESE KIDS

RILEY AND STAR MY MALTESE KIDS

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

DEAR STAR - EDITOR FOR PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE.


Hi Everybuddy, Hope you are having a great week! As for me, Pee-Mails for my Advice Column have been pouring in by the Zillions! So here are today's burning questions.


THE O.P. PACK FROM CHRONICLES OF WOOS WANT TO KNOW: Dear Star, Any suggestions on how we can get the new little PEST (Ciara) to stop playing with our toys? Woos, Phantom and Thunder.




Dear Phantom and Thunder, the problem lies with you and not your sweet little puppy sister, Ciara!

You two are adult doggies now and it's time to give up your toys to Ciara for more grownup activities such as, getting a job as guard dogs at Target or pulling weeds from the yard and picking up sticks. Or if you just want to goof off and have fun, take a Ceramics Class or Disco Dancing Lessons. Now, doesn't that sound rewarding?




ANONYMOUS WRITES: Dear Star, Yesterday I accidently, on purpose, stuck my paw in a wall outlet and I haven't been able to make my hair stay down since! What can I do to get my beautiful white hair to look like it used to?



Dear Anonymous, First of all, what kind of a HAIR BRAIN FOOL would stick their paw in a wall outlet? And what turnip truck did your mommy fall off of anyway? Hasn't she ever heard of Pup-Proof outlet covers? I have a mind to call A.P.S. on her!

As for your hair, there's good news and bad news! The bad news is, it's going to stay that way! The good news is, you can have it styled into a Mohawk and dye it green for St. Patrick's Day!




THE ARMY OF FOUR WRITES: Dear Star, How can we get one way tickets to Siberia? We live in Kansas and it's HOT AS HECK DOWN HERE! Besides, that's where our Dog-cestor's came from and we want to dig up some good old roots!


Dear ARMY OF FOUR, There are two ways to dig up roots! Tear up your mommy's trees or chew up your Family Photo Album! Trust me when I say, you do not want to go to Siberia! They don't have Internet there and the food sucks!



CHEWY FROM CHI'S IN THE CITY SAYS: Dear Star, My ears don't stand straight up like real Chihuahua's ears should and strange hoomans think I'm a Min Pin! What can I do to make my ears Pointy?





Dear Chewy, ONE WORD......STARCH! This is the only method that works and I'm not talking about Sissy Spray Starch either! Personally, I wouldn't do this to save my butt! Butt, if you don't mind a little pain, then it's well worth it!

Mix one box of Corn Starch to two cups of hot water and stir well. Your mommy will have to hold you upside down and dip your ears in the Corn Starch solution. Then stand on your head with your ears pointed to the floor for twenty four hours until dry and stiff! Repeat process after every bath!

If you are having second thoughts, that's o.k. Ears aren't everything, it's what's in your heart that counts! Good Luck!



BEATRICE FROM BOSTON WRITES: Dear Star, Okay, this is the deal! I LUV my Bling-Bling and I LUV my Champage! And I don't see a problem with that! I think I look pretty darn Classy and I feel good too! BURP! Butt, I CAN'T GET A DATE!!! Every Boy Pup I meet says I'm too HIGH MAINTENANCE and I act tipsy! Hick-up! So, what's the problem?


Dear Beatrice, Lay off the bubbles!



HUSKEE AND HERSHEY WANT TO KNOW: Dear Star, How do you stop a certain Border Collie from Shedding?



Dear Huskee and Hershey, Oh, this one Sweeties, is a "no-brainer"! Just get a Buzz! And I don't mean call Beatrice!



OLIVE FROM: OLIVE SAYS: Dear Star, I have never worn clothes...I am not sure how a dress would look? Do you have any advice for me? I do like the color Olive Green though.




Dear Olive, Oh Girlfrend! I've seen you around town and you have a body that would stop a clock! So, why not jumped out of your comfort zone and wear something that says "HELLO, HELLO"!

A black leather mini skirt with a red V-Neck T-Shirt and a pink sash tied around your waist with a Rhinestone "Bone" Brooch for a little BLING, BLING would be just darling on you! Butt, whatever you do, don't go shopping with Beatrice! And go easy on the cleavage! Be sure to send me a picture in your new outfit!



Well, thanks Everybuddy for sending in your questions. Without you, I wouldn't have a job! You can ask a question by leaving a comment and I will answer it in my next "DEAR STAR," post.

And Remember, LOVE, BEAUTY AND FASHION IS MY PASSION!

Love,
Star - Editor for "PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY" MAGAZINE.

Pee-ess: Now, mommy has to get busy and catch up with Everybuddy else's blogs cause she says she can't do two jobs at once! I don't know why??? I do!

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47 Comments:

Blogger Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I'm sure Ciara will LOVE your advice!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra & Khousin Merdie

March 9, 2010 at 10:32 PM  
Blogger Martha and Bailey said...

Dear Star, we think everyone will love your great advice. We think Thunder and Phantom will be particularly pleased to surrender all their toys to their little sister!
Is it true Star that being cute gets you everything you want?
At least you are not suggesting T & P go work down the mines.............
love and kisses
Martha & Bailey xxxx

March 9, 2010 at 11:48 PM  
Blogger Cocorue said...

you Two are so hilarious and i LOOOOOOVE your advice biiiig time......you were BORN for this job; don't ever give this up!!!!!

you should be the breadwinner and not your mumster as you truly tickle my funny bone

looooooove you
coco

March 9, 2010 at 11:59 PM  
Blogger Bella the Westie said...

All the doggies are lucky to get your advice!
you are so clever :)

Love, Bella.

March 10, 2010 at 2:02 AM  
Blogger Maggie and Mitch said...

What excellent advice you gave Chewy on the starch trick, Star!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

March 10, 2010 at 2:47 AM  
Blogger Yoda & Brutus said...

You give such good advise Star :)

Pugs & Kisses,

Yoda & Brutus

March 10, 2010 at 4:50 AM  
Blogger Madi and Mom said...

Star and Riley please give your mom my most sincere and highest compliments on helping you with this post. Your Mom (oh excuse me Star) is so funny and can think of the very best answers. My favorite was the starch! We are just loling our heads off here in NC!!!
GREAT JOB. WE send your mom an Gold medal for creativity!!!
Madi and Mom

March 10, 2010 at 6:00 AM  
Blogger Nadine said...

OMG, I so look forward to this column, it is just HYSTERICAL and I can't stop laughing, hahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Love, Chewy & Lilibell's Mommy

P.S. Will have to try your recommendation for Chewy's ears, will let you know how it works out! Chewy: Ummmm, I don't think so Mom, I'm so not standing on my head for 24 hours, you've got rocks in your head if you think I'm going to!! I'll just suffer with being called a min pin!

March 10, 2010 at 6:32 AM  
Blogger Cocorue said...

dear guys ,
we are revisiting as the 2legger wants to share you wisdom with her prince charming er, the 3legger.

they are both LTAO and ROTF and wetting the floor and i kept slipping.....

question: how do i stop the hoomans from laughing and rolling on the floor...they look so stoooopid; two big hoomans getting tangled, crying and laughing...are ALL hoomans meant for the assylum???

i hope you can answer this before someone reports them

chikisses
coco
help: my sista is imitation them and is on her back staring at the stoopid hoomans who are still crying...does it sound like my sista is turning into a hooman soon???

March 10, 2010 at 6:35 AM  
Blogger Frankie Furter said...

Oh Star this is just WONDERFUL. Starch... hehehehe Phantom and Thunder might not be too thrilled, butt little Ciara is going to demand a lifetime subscription to the mag.. I'm just sayin'. BOL BOL BOL!!!
PeeS... you should contact Animal Planet.. I'm thinkin they might want to give you a show!!

March 10, 2010 at 7:07 AM  
Blogger The Army of Four said...

Hmm... we're not much to dig or chew things up.... but we'll see what we can do! Thanks, Star!
Luv,
Dave

March 10, 2010 at 8:10 AM  
Blogger Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

oh I am liking this feature.

Where do I start with my problems.....? Well the one about the fur sticking up kinda interested my Jeannie, cos she straightened her fringe too much today, and now looks similar to that photo!

ha ha

Grrrrrreat feature.

love from Marvin xxxxxxx

March 10, 2010 at 8:57 AM  
Blogger Madi and Mom said...

Dear Star and Riley....
As you know I'm the Diva of the house...well the 2nd Diva...the first one is coming to visit this weekend with her hubby. When she comes she brings scents from her kitty with her. I smell them but can't find the kitty so I hiss at the 1st Diva...this is not good. I mean business when I hiss and she lol at me that makes me hiss more. What should I do?
Madi

March 10, 2010 at 10:31 AM  
Blogger Tessa the Maltese said...

Star Dear, you do give good advise!

We just love reading your column!

Hugs, Tessa

Riley my Studly Muffin I sure miss you pupster!
Kisses, Tessa

March 10, 2010 at 11:39 AM  
Blogger The OP Pack said...

Star, you rock!!!! Thank you for telling my brothers to back off the toys for a while. Phantom says it is OK with him as long as he can have the parrot. And Thunder Dunder doesn't understand your advice - he says he isn't even four yet. OK, off now to invade the toy stash.

Woos, Ciara

March 10, 2010 at 12:00 PM  
Blogger sadermaxx said...

Dear Star

My kitten is always jumping on my back and taking a ride, when he was little it didn't matter much but now he is getting bigger and is taller then me, got any advise.

sign

Sadie in PA

March 10, 2010 at 12:18 PM  
Blogger Nellie and Calvert said...

Dear Star,

We think you've found your calling, these posts are hysterical! Thank you so much.

Calvert has asked me to take some shot of him with his new haircut... ahem... he's seeking your sage advice, I hope you can help.

Your faithful readers

N&C

March 10, 2010 at 1:37 PM  
Blogger Teddy Bear said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

March 10, 2010 at 1:58 PM  
Blogger Teddy Bear said...

I hope Ciara gets to join in on the fun with her older siblings.:)

Love,
Teddy Bear

March 10, 2010 at 1:59 PM  
Blogger Sagira said...

Great advice again!

I have an answer for The OP Pack...they can just send Ciara here and let her play with me and my toys! :)

March 10, 2010 at 2:49 PM  
Blogger Clive said...

Star

What wonderful advice! You are so good at this!

take care
Clive and the NSLM

March 10, 2010 at 3:17 PM  
Blogger Benny and Lily said...

You are the go to furry friend for advice thats for sure--hysterical
Luv
Benny & Lily

March 10, 2010 at 4:15 PM  
Blogger Santa and Minnie said...

Oh Star, you are meant for the job. We just love your column and we are now great fans of your column!!

March 10, 2010 at 4:57 PM  
Blogger Twix said...

What a great column, Star! I know I will learn many things by reading this on a regular basis. AND...you will be the first one to know if something is amiss in my world cause I will be expecting you to fix it!
Snuggles,
Twix

March 10, 2010 at 6:47 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Star!
Your column is getting better and better!
I have a question. Is there any way I can convince my mom that I need my baths more often?? She says it is cold but... I don't take them outside! Please, let me know.
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

March 10, 2010 at 7:45 PM  
Blogger Tank said...

You seem to give very good advice Star, so I'm going to come here next time I need professional help with a problem. I think my assistant fell off that same turnip truck you mentioned, so I'll probably need long-term therapy at some point. Do you offer that as well?

March 10, 2010 at 8:01 PM  
Blogger Olive said...

Oh thank you for that wonderful advice!!!Phew, I was not sure where to even begin!! Now I know ..and I will go easy on the cleavage girl :)

Licks to you!!!

Olive

March 10, 2010 at 8:08 PM  
Blogger Madi and Mom said...

Dear Star and Riley ....you did not miss my b-day we celebrated it with you two on Valentine's Day...remember all the goodies...
Anyway today 3/11 is the official day!!
Madi says it is great to be eight!!!
Madi and Mom

March 11, 2010 at 4:38 AM  
Blogger Life With Dogs said...

I learned - and laughed a lot today! :)

March 11, 2010 at 8:42 AM  
Blogger Twinkietinydog said...

Hello! Twinkie here. I got your comment. How fun! Love today's post, but I think that Thunder and Phantom are full of it. They're already in love with Ciara. Shhh, don't tell them I said so.
Twinkie

March 11, 2010 at 9:18 AM  
Blogger Paco,Milo, Maya and mommy Simona said...

Hiiiii dear Riley and Star!!!!
Thanks for your comment on our blog!!!
Of course we would love to be your new friends!!!
You two look soooooooooo cute and beautiful and your blog is wonderful!!!

Todays post is soooooo funny and we think your advice sre great!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Sure we'll visit you often and hope you would like do the same!!!!!

HAve a wonderful day!!!!
Sweet kisses and licks from your new friends!!!!
MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

March 11, 2010 at 11:04 AM  
Blogger Deetz said...

Wow, what a wonderful columnist you are! Fantastic, bravo advice and so professional. I am so very proud of you and want to hug and squeeze your lil body.
It is so muddy here but I was careful not to get any on the floor.
Deetzy

March 11, 2010 at 11:44 AM  
Blogger Dory and the Mama said...

Mama says she soooooo wants to see Olive's new outfit!!

Star, you are ever so talented, thank you and your Mama for all your hard work!!

Smileys!
Dory

March 11, 2010 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger Samantha said...

LOL! GREAT advice Star!!

March 11, 2010 at 1:06 PM  
Blogger Remington said...

My little Princess! Another great job! Bravo! Bravo! And you are looking marvelous as usual! Don't over work yourself....

March 11, 2010 at 1:18 PM  
Blogger Nadine said...

Hey guys, you got tagged! Come on over and see!

Waggles & Chi kisses, Chewy & Lilibell

March 11, 2010 at 1:53 PM  
Blogger Gus, Louie and Callie said...

What an awesome post. Such good advice. We sure hope you get lots of treats for that...

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

March 11, 2010 at 1:59 PM  
Blogger Busy Buttons said...

Wow -- you must get a LOT of pee-mail! I don't get nearly that much...and nobody really ever asks me questions, either. But then again, I'd probably not be very good at giving advice, so maybe that's a good thing!

March 11, 2010 at 4:32 PM  
Blogger Scottie the 'Cutie' said...

Hi Star!

That is a cool advice column that you got there...I love you dishing out great advice to people who asked for help! *grins*

Hope you have a great weekend!

Scottie

March 11, 2010 at 5:20 PM  
Blogger Cocorue said...

hey you two wonderful 'agony aunts' or should i say 'agony princesses'

do come over for your award!
looooooove your column
chikisses
coco

March 11, 2010 at 11:47 PM  
Blogger Mango said...

Wow! you sure have many wise words for sure. I must say that I was shocked by your tips about little Ciara. I always thought it was my job to make sure my idiot brother did not get any toys.

Slobbers,
Mango

March 12, 2010 at 4:14 AM  
Blogger kissa-bull said...

oh my dogness!! you guys are the cutest eber there was!! the houston pittie pack here and we'd just love to be furryends.we're furry much excited to make new furryends all the time.we send you many sugars and hope we can be gweat pals.
the houston pittie pack

March 12, 2010 at 4:47 PM  
Blogger BRUTUS said...

Hey Star - that's some Grrrrrrreat advice! We're going to have to come up with a question for your most wise reply! Sorry we've been away, that Flat Brutus became our second job!

Snorts-
Brutus the Frenchie

March 12, 2010 at 6:14 PM  
Blogger Abby said...

Hi, Riley & Star...

Wow...You guys are gonna be famous...Don't forget us Little Dogs when you are...OK??

First you win Dancing With The Star & now you are huge Advice Column Pups...

Missed you guys soooo much...

Abby xxxooo

March 13, 2010 at 10:37 AM  
Blogger Madi and Mom said...

Saturday afternoon,
Hi Riley and Star...we hope your weekend is going well. My sis and her hubby are visiting us this weekend so you know we are having a fine weekend. Thus far I have not hissed at my sis at all....you see she has a kitty at home. He gets car sick so he doesn't come up but his smells do. Mom says I must think my sis is hiding a cat somewhere and I can't find it so I hiss.
Madi and Mom

March 13, 2010 at 12:28 PM  
Blogger NORWOOD UNLEASHED said...

Dear Star and Riley
You have a hit column! I love the advice - especially the lay off the bubbles comment. Not only are you handsome and beautiful but so talented. Thanks for helping our fellow bloggers.
norwood

March 13, 2010 at 8:00 PM  
Blogger Mango the Maltese kiddo said...

Dear Star,
I love anonymous's hair style. I wish my hair could look stunningly like that but I dare not to stick my paw into the outlet!
Don't you girls spend a lots of green papers for hair coloring, highlighting, permanenting, cutting, trimming, teasing? Anonymous spent nothing for his manly look!
Love you and siding with you Anonymous!

March 20, 2010 at 5:53 PM  

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