RILEY AND STAR MY MALTESE KIDS

RILEY AND STAR MY MALTESE KIDS

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

AN ALL NEW ADDITION OF PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE INCLUDING DEAR STAR.


"PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE"

Hi Everybuddy! Guess what? I got a promotion! I am now the Chief and Editor of "PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE" in addition to my Advice Column, "DEAR STAR". So now anything goes! Hope you like it!


NEW ROMANCES: Glamor Girl, Star and Football Hero, Remington have announced that they are officially going steady. Star received a gold heart from the Studly Rem and is now shopping for high heels! The handsome couple is now known everywhere as the "STARINGTON'S".



WHO'S WEARING WHAT? The Gorgeous and Sophisticated ASTA from Manhattan, was spotted in the Village wearing an Apple Red and White Raincoat designed by Stormy Wetter. And what a SPLASH she made!




THE FRENCH CONNECTION: BENNY AND LILY have gotten themselves in a jam again! They were last seen being hauled off to jail for illegal gambling and for having too much fun! Their Attorney was arrested also.



WHO'S HOT?


AND WHO'S NOT!



MAIL BAG:
JAZZIE WRITES: Dear Star, My water bowl is continually empty! What can I do to make sure my mom keeps my bowl full?

Dear Jazzi, Put tape over her mouth so she can't drink it!





TWINKIE WRITES: Dear Star, During Date Night, Twix mentioned that I was wearing a bikini and swimming in the toilet! Should I be offended or proud?

Dear Twinkie, Well if I were you I would be very proud! There are lots of doggies out there that can't even get a drink of water out of the toilet bowl much less swim in it! Butt, thank Dogness, nobuddy flushed it! Next time wear a life jacket o.k.?




ADVERISEMENT:

IF YOU DON'T SMELL GOOD, THEN YOU WILL BE AN OLD MAID FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! So put down that stick, let down your hair, and soak in a bottle of
"STAR-LICIOUS" PURRFUME by STAR and you will become the DIVA you were always meant to be! You'll be glad you did and so will the bo-dawgs!




Now back to Dear Star,

Ludo Van Doggy says: Dear Star, How can I get my mum to quit work and spend all her time with me?

Dear Ludo, Oh dear! Well, while your mommy's at work, chew up the sofa, pee on her bed, and throw up in her slippers. When she gets home, jump in her lap and cry like a baby till your eyes are all red and swollen and don't forget to sniff a lot! Trust me, she'll never go back to work again!





OZZIE FROM GOLDEN SAMANTHA MEOWS: Dear Star, My mom keeps promising to give me space on my Sis, Sam's Blog butt she still hasn't come through! How can I get my face and story on this blog?

Dear Ozzie's Mom, Just look at this poor, sweet, little pitiful face! I bet now you are really feeling ashamed of yourself aren't you? I thought so! So, GET BUSY before Ozzie takes over my blog! I'm a sucker for little black and white kittens. Isn't she cute?



MADI WRITES: Dear Star, I'm the other cute black and white kitten and I want to know how can I get my mom to stop teasing me? I don't like it and it hurts!

Dear Madi, Well, I don't like my hair teased either, butt you do what you have to do if you want to be a DIVA! At least she doesn't poke you in the head with a Rat-Tail comb! Does she???

Oh, and one more thing, Miss. Star, I'm playing Miss. Kitty in Jack's new movie "WESTWARD HO!" and I heard that the camera can add ten pounds to your body. What can I do to keep my butt from looking big?

Dear Madi, Well, the real Miss Kitty didn't wear those big pooffy skirts for nothing you know? And why do you think she always hid behind the bar? There's your answer! Break a leg!




BILBO WRITES: Dear Star, My sister DORY is ALWAYS hogging the spotlight and only lets me blog one day a week! What can I do to make her give me more blogging time?

Dear Bilbo, That's easy! Invite some squirrels over and while Dory is going crazy in the back yard, slip in a few posts. Now wasn't that simple?




COCORUE SAYS: Dear Star, How do I get a boy-furrend? Everyone I meet is either taken or they don't care for tea cups and they don't even think I am a real dog!

Dear Coco, Well, anybuddy who doesn't care for tea cups doesn't have any class and you don't want them anyway! Butt, next time you see a bo-dawg you like, give him a big smack on the lips and that ought to show him how real you are! Men!



THE BOOKER MAN WRITES: Dear Star, When I'm snoozin' I talk in my sleep and wake everybuddy up and they get mad! What can I do to stop talking while I'm snoozin'?

Dear Booker, Mr. Anonymous does the same thing and I'll tell you what I told him! Stop reading those "Girly" magazines! You're hil-loosenating!




Well Everybuddy, that's it for this week's addition of "Pretty Kitty and Buffy Puppy Magazine. See you next week and don't forget to send your question to Dear Star.

Luv ya,

Star.

Labels:

33 Comments:

Blogger Noah the Airedale said...

Star, you are just a wealth of knowledge. Congrats on the promotion.

Noah x

April 28, 2010 at 11:51 PM  
Blogger Teddy Bear said...

Congrats on your promotion, Star!!! You have the best advice.:)

Love,
Teddy Bear

April 29, 2010 at 12:04 AM  
Blogger Santa and Minnie said...

Congratulations on your promotion, Star. We like your advice to Ludo. Maybe we could try that to get our Mum to stay home but then we stay with our Aunty Diana and she's going to get mad if we do that at her home and she's going to spank each and everyone of us. By the way, Star, how can we continue to be excited when our Mum comes over without being showed the "stick" for being noisy? She's trying to train us not to bark when we have visitors.

April 29, 2010 at 12:43 AM  
Blogger Abby said...

Hi, Star...

Congrats on your promotion, Star...

Can't wait for the next edition...

Abby xxxooo

April 29, 2010 at 3:36 AM  
Blogger Bella the Westie said...

Congratulations for your promotion. You are so clever and deserve it. :)
I hope you got lots of treats for it!

Love, Bella.

April 29, 2010 at 4:38 AM  
Blogger Madi and Mom said...

Oh Star....you are not responsible for any messes made if one doesn't potty before reading your column!!! Mom is giggling like a teeny bopper and wiping her eyes with her shirt tail. Good Grief she has lost all of her manners.

Star Miss Kitty here...thanks for the hint about standing behind the bar during the Westward Ho filming. Great idea.
Miss Kitty and her totally uncool Mom

April 29, 2010 at 4:52 AM  
Blogger houndstooth said...

Tee hee! Thanks for the good giggle this morning!

Bunny

April 29, 2010 at 5:14 AM  
Blogger BRUTUS said...

What a production! I feel so important now, since we rub elbows with all those famous doggies you mentioned! If you ever do a sports page, I'm your doggie!!

Snorts-
Brutus the Frenchie

April 29, 2010 at 5:36 AM  
Blogger Frankie Furter said...

Wow you got a PAWmotion. That is grrreat. And now you and Rem are to be know as the Staringtons??? You now have your own perfume line??? Holy Cat Crap. You live one exciting life. Thanks sooooo much for sharing it with us.

April 29, 2010 at 5:56 AM  
Blogger Remington said...

Hi my little princess -- great job! I am so proud of you! You just amaze me! That is why I am so in like with you.... What's your brother up too? Is he getting ready for football season too? I have a busy day so won't be able to call you until about 9 tonight....until then....hugs....Rem

April 29, 2010 at 7:12 AM  
Blogger The Kool~Kittie~Krew said...

You are the best advise columnist effur!

April 29, 2010 at 7:30 AM  
Blogger Kari in WeHo said...

Mesa also talks in her sleep but doesn't care if we get mad

April 29, 2010 at 9:24 AM  
Blogger kissa-bull said...

dear star
the pibble pack will be moving to a new house mommish is going to buy next week. we thought it'd be nice to do uor synchronized tooting routine in evewy room to rid the house of any bad vibes or boo's that might have been there before ush? what do you tink??

pibble wiggles
the pittie pack

April 29, 2010 at 9:26 AM  
Blogger Maggie and Mitch said...

We can't stop laughing over Dennis's buck toofies! hahahaha
Congratulations on your promotion, Star!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

April 29, 2010 at 9:55 AM  
Blogger Samantha said...

Grrrreat publication and congrats on the promotion! Such a pawsome rag - this edition's gonna sell out before you know it! Taking your excellent advice to heart - I know Mom'll make me a post furry soon now!
Big Hugs xoxoxoxo
Ozzie (and a guilty Sam)

April 29, 2010 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Khongrats on your pawesome achievements!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

April 29, 2010 at 11:25 AM  
Blogger ♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Congrats on your promotion, Star - so very well-deserved. We loved all your advice today but we do think Dory might read your column and be on to Bilbo's efforts.

Thunder wants to know if you have any advice for him to "get his sister off his back"?

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

April 29, 2010 at 2:53 PM  
Blogger Sagira said...

Another great one Star and congrats on your promotion. :)

April 29, 2010 at 3:12 PM  
Blogger The Army of Four said...

Well-deserved promotion! Congrats, Star - and another great issue!
Play bows,
Zim

April 29, 2010 at 6:40 PM  
Blogger K9friend said...

Great edition. Beautiful and informative!

Pat
www.critteralley.blogspot.com

April 29, 2010 at 6:56 PM  
Blogger Dory and the Mama said...

Wow Star...why didn't I think of importing squirrels!

Thanks!!!
Growlies!
Bilbo

April 29, 2010 at 7:15 PM  
Blogger Tweedles -- that's me said...

For some strange reason, I just knew this wonderful promotion was going to happen!
Love
tweedles

April 29, 2010 at 9:21 PM  
Blogger Jacqueline said...

Star, congratulations on your super promotion!!...We are very impressed with your funny and entertaining magazine; your great photos, fashion, gossip and advice are all so creative and fun!!...You are such a talented, gorgeous girl and we find your blog so enjoyable=we are very honored to be your and Riley's friends...xo...Calle, Halle, Sukki

April 29, 2010 at 10:44 PM  
Blogger Net said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

April 30, 2010 at 1:37 AM  
Blogger the booker man said...

oh, wow, gratsers on your super duper promotion, miss star!!! you are totally good at this advices thingie, so i know you will totally be good at managing the whole magazine!
*woof*
the booker man

pee s -- when did the petedge catalog become a girlie magazine?! who knew! i'm gonna stop lookin' at it before bedtime.

April 30, 2010 at 7:29 AM  
Blogger Busy Buttons said...

I'd really like a kitty, but Mom claims she's allergic to them. If you've got any ideas about how to convince Mom to get me a kitty, please let me know. I looove kitty cats.

April 30, 2010 at 7:55 AM  
Blogger Asta said...

DEew Staw
Finally, A magazine I can sink my teef into.What a pleasoowe to wead youw advice..it's aways spot on. thank you fow feetoowing my new coat in youw What to weaw collumn..I'm honowed to be in such a classy publication
smoochie kisses and congwatulations on youw pwomotion
love
Asta

April 30, 2010 at 8:01 AM  
Blogger 3 doxies said...

Congrats on your promotion...did someone get DEmoted? Does this mean you will haves to attend BORE meetings?
I really am lovin your advertisements.
Puddles

April 30, 2010 at 10:17 AM  
Blogger Nadine, Chewy and Lilibell said...

Dear Wise and Wonderful Star, what can I possibly do about my brother Chewy? Every time we go out for a walk and I spy a cute bo-dawg, Chewy starts barking his foolish head off and scares the bo-dawg away! I'll never find a bo-dawg and before I know it, I'll be an old spinster all because of him!

Chi kisses, Lilibelll

Pee Ess Congratulations on your promotion!

April 30, 2010 at 1:10 PM  
Blogger Jazzi said...

Gee Star,
Not sure how I missed this post, Good advice again, just HOW do you do it??? I just LOVED Bilbos~~that was so funny!! Hope he sneaks hem in while DOry is in the backyard.

Wags
Jazzi

April 30, 2010 at 1:19 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Star!
Congratulations on your promotion!
I loved your post!
And the not hot one made me laugh a lot!
Good advices... as always!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

April 30, 2010 at 8:26 PM  
Blogger Cocorue said...

dear Star,
congrats on the well deserved promotion!

our apologies for not visiting earlier as our hooman has lots of excuses Butt we are Not listening and besides those excuses, our computer has been misbehaving too and i managed to send you this only today!

TQ for your wise advice and i know i can count on your sound advice as i've just turned my beautiful nose on one of those small bodawg who smelt my butt!!!

Q: how do you suggest i beam myself over to visit you and maybe stay on as i don't fancy being quarantined when i return?
* can't travel on board planes (will freeze to death in the cargo section)

* don't fancy those fedex boxes too

oh, i've seen movies where hoomans ENTER into mirrors; i could do the same with the computer screen??????

oh wise one, i await your response
chikisses
coco

May 4, 2010 at 3:22 AM  
Blogger ocmist said...

WOW! We really enjoyed reading your Magazine tonight! We learned a lot about so many of our friends! Between your and Twinkie's Advice column we are going to know a lot about life and stuff! The Country Corgi Pups

May 6, 2010 at 12:17 AM  

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