AN ALL NEW ADDITION OF PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE INCLUDING DEAR STAR.
"PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE"
Hi Everybuddy! Guess what? I got a promotion! I am now the Chief and Editor of "PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE" in addition to my Advice Column, "DEAR STAR". So now anything goes! Hope you like it!
NEW ROMANCES: Glamor Girl, Star and Football Hero, Remington have announced that they are officially going steady. Star received a gold heart from the Studly Rem and is now shopping for high heels! The handsome couple is now known everywhere as the "STARINGTON'S".
WHO'S WEARING WHAT? The Gorgeous and Sophisticated ASTA from Manhattan, was spotted in the Village wearing an Apple Red and White Raincoat designed by Stormy Wetter. And what a SPLASH she made!
THE FRENCH CONNECTION: BENNY AND LILY have gotten themselves in a jam again! They were last seen being hauled off to jail for illegal gambling and for having too much fun! Their Attorney was arrested also.
AND WHO'S NOT!
MAIL BAG: JAZZIE WRITES: Dear Star, My water bowl is continually empty! What can I do to make sure my mom keeps my bowl full?
Dear Jazzi, Put tape over her mouth so she can't drink it!
TWINKIE WRITES: Dear Star, During Date Night, Twix mentioned that I was wearing a bikini and swimming in the toilet! Should I be offended or proud?
Dear Twinkie, Well if I were you I would be very proud! There are lots of doggies out there that can't even get a drink of water out of the toilet bowl much less swim in it! Butt, thank Dogness, nobuddy flushed it! Next time wear a life jacket o.k.?
IF YOU DON'T SMELL GOOD, THEN YOU WILL BE AN OLD MAID FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! So put down that stick, let down your hair, and soak in a bottle of "STAR-LICIOUS" PURRFUME by STAR and you will become the DIVA you were always meant to be! You'll be glad you did and so will the bo-dawgs!
Now back to Dear Star,
Ludo Van Doggy says: Dear Star, How can I get my mum to quit work and spend all her time with me?
Dear Ludo, Oh dear! Well, while your mommy's at work, chew up the sofa, pee on her bed, and throw up in her slippers. When she gets home, jump in her lap and cry like a baby till your eyes are all red and swollen and don't forget to sniff a lot! Trust me, she'll never go back to work again!
OZZIE FROM GOLDEN SAMANTHA MEOWS: Dear Star, My mom keeps promising to give me space on my Sis, Sam's Blog butt she still hasn't come through! How can I get my face and story on this blog?
Dear Ozzie's Mom, Just look at this poor, sweet, little pitiful face! I bet now you are really feeling ashamed of yourself aren't you? I thought so! So, GET BUSY before Ozzie takes over my blog! I'm a sucker for little black and white kittens. Isn't she cute?
MADI WRITES: Dear Star, I'm the other cute black and white kitten and I want to know how can I get my mom to stop teasing me? I don't like it and it hurts!
Dear Madi, Well, I don't like my hair teased either, butt you do what you have to do if you want to be a DIVA! At least she doesn't poke you in the head with a Rat-Tail comb! Does she???
Oh, and one more thing, Miss. Star, I'm playing Miss. Kitty in Jack's new movie "WESTWARD HO!" and I heard that the camera can add ten pounds to your body. What can I do to keep my butt from looking big?
Dear Madi, Well, the real Miss Kitty didn't wear those big pooffy skirts for nothing you know? And why do you think she always hid behind the bar? There's your answer! Break a leg!
BILBO WRITES: Dear Star, My sister DORY is ALWAYS hogging the spotlight and only lets me blog one day a week! What can I do to make her give me more blogging time?
Dear Bilbo, That's easy! Invite some squirrels over and while Dory is going crazy in the back yard, slip in a few posts. Now wasn't that simple?
COCORUE SAYS: Dear Star, How do I get a boy-furrend? Everyone I meet is either taken or they don't care for tea cups and they don't even think I am a real dog!
Dear Coco, Well, anybuddy who doesn't care for tea cups doesn't have any class and you don't want them anyway! Butt, next time you see a bo-dawg you like, give him a big smack on the lips and that ought to show him how real you are! Men!
THE BOOKER MAN WRITES: Dear Star, When I'm snoozin' I talk in my sleep and wake everybuddy up and they get mad! What can I do to stop talking while I'm snoozin'?
Dear Booker, Mr. Anonymous does the same thing and I'll tell you what I told him! Stop reading those "Girly" magazines! You're hil-loosenating!
Well Everybuddy, that's it for this week's addition of "Pretty Kitty and Buffy Puppy Magazine. See you next week and don't forget to send your question to Dear Star.