EXCLUSIVE - WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT MANGO BY: NORWOOD IN DEAR STAR'S COLUMN.
Hi Everybuddy, It's me Star with "Pretty Kitty and Buffy Puppy Magazine". This Week's Issue is HOT, HOT, HOT!
Last Friday Night was the Premier for the new Western Flick, "WESTWARD HO!" WESTWARD WHO??? A very nervous ACTOR/PRODUCER, JACK DADDY looked quite dashing until he accidentally pooped on the Red Carpet.
LORENZA created quite a scene in the Plaza when she wore this PRETTY IN PINK dress designed by: GRANDMA-DE-LORENZA.
When you are too pooped to even wag your tail, stop in your tracks and have a cup of STAR TEA. Yummy, yum, yum! Sold at all fine Pet Stores. STAR-LICHOUS!!!
HERO who is often mistaken for Brad Pitt, howls: "THOSE ARE NOT MY BABIES"!!!
It was also reported by a very good source, that TWIX, HERO'S date on DATE NIGHT said HERO looks good in anything or even nothing at all! Now that must have been some date!
HI, I'M RILEY AND THERE'S NOTHING MORE REFRESHING THEN MONTY-ZOOMIE'S REVENGE. For Medicinal Use Only! Grrreat for killing squirrels by just breathing on them, flea bites and rug burn! A dab here and a dab there, well, maybe not there, will soothe your butt!
MONTY-ZOOMIE'S REVENGE - YOU WILL BECOME A NEW MAN!
NORWOOD WRITES: Dear Star, I'm confused! Huge MANGO who lives in MASTER-CHEW-SITTS is always talking like a VALLEY GIRL! He says: "like I was totally worried" and "for sure". Maybe he thinks he's CHER staring in "VALLEY GIRL MANGO"? Don't you think he's getting weird?
Dear Norwood, Like no way! I think like MANGO is totally way cool for sure! Wait! Did you say MASTER-CHEW-SITTS? I thought you said CALIFORNIA! Like that's gross an like gag me with a spoon!
KISSA-BULL SAYS: Dear Star, We're moving to a new house and we are thinking about doing our Synchronized Tooting Routine in evewy room to rid any bad vibes or boos that might have been there before ush. Miss. Star, what do you tink? The Pittie Pack.
Dear Pittie Pack, I think that's a grrreat idea! Also, I would bring your furrend there with you just in case you run out of gas!
THUNDER FROM THE O.P. PACK SAYS: Dear Star, do you have any ideas of how I can get my sister Ciara off my Back?!!!
Dear Thunder, There's a very simple solution to your problem. Just sleep standing up!
BUSY BUTTONS WRITES: Dear Star, I'd really like to have a kitty butt mom claims she's allergic to them. How can I convince her to get me a kitty?
Dear Busy Buttons, Ask for a puppy instead or your mom will be sneezing yucky stuff all over you! And her eyes will be swollen shut and her nose will drip like a leaky faucet all down her face and yours, and that can be pretty disgusting! Do you want her to resent you for the rest of your life because she can't breathe? No, I didn't think so! Enjoy your new puppy!
LILYBELL SAYS: Dear Star, Whenever we go for a walk my brother Chewy always barks at all the cute bo-dawgs and scares them away! I'm going to be a Spinster for the rest of my life because of him! Please help!
Dear Lilybell, Chewy is just trying to protect from all those bo-dawg wimminizors! And not to worry about becomming a Spinster, I'll take care of that right now!
If you are a handsome and single bo-dawg looking for a beautiful petite, wo-dawg to be your forever-furrend, then look up Lilybell. And don't mind her brother, he's all bark and no bite! This ought get you some action!!!
Well everybuddy, that's it for this week's addition of "PRETTY KITTY AND BUFFY PUPPY MAGAZINE". Please feel free to ask your question when you leave a comment on my post and I will answer it next week.